a beautiful good family
is arrested
on her way home from
her niece's confirmation
and booked and incarcerated
like a common
woman of the streets.
I'm talking
about Thelma Cleland!
Of the Cleland
Parish Clelands
of Bay St. Luc, Louisiana.
Excuse me!
Where our father
Colonel Judge Bryant Cleland
presides over
the Cleland County
Fifth Circuit bench.
I demand that you release
this girl right now
or you'll all taste the
business end of a buggy whip!
Bailiff...
Yes, sir.
Get your ass
over here!
You got a case number?
Yes, I do.
Two, zero, five, six, nine,
"A," Alpha. "R," Ranger.
I'll get it!
Now, just exactly
what is your relationship
to the arrestee?
Uh, well, sir,
the young woman is my sister!
I know you can believe
that the family honor
is at stake here.
You strike me
as a gentleman, sir.
Surely you must understand.
Why, of course, I understand.
My people were
related to Jefferson Davis,
on my mother's side.
I knew it!
I knew it, indeed, I knew it!
A son of the South.
Son of what?
O- Of the South, sir.
The confederacy!
Uh, your honor. What?
Loitering with intent
to commit prostitution,
lewd behavior, soliciting
for an unlawful act.
Bail at $350, your honor.
I can't believe my ears!
This is an outrage!
Let me see that thing!
This is outrageous,
ridiculous! Let me see that.
Why,
I demand satisfaction!
Get the arresting
officer in here!
I will tar and
feather the scalawag!
Now hold on, Mr. Cleland!
Hold on!
I can release your sister
on her own recognizance
and dismiss this case
in the interests of justice.
Well, thank you. It would
serve my family well.
Sir,
we'd be very grateful.
Do you like shrimp?
Indeed, I do.
You can come down
to Bay St. Luc,
we'll cook you up
a whole mess of shrimp.
We got some
shrimp in that family.
How about Tampa?
Thelma!
Bud!
Come on, honey,
we are going home.
And not a moment
too soon.
Case dismissed.
I can't tell you the
indignities I suffered here.
Thank you,
my father thanks you.
You're entirely welcome.
That girl is colored!
Nobody colored me,
I was born this way!
Come here, baby.
That's all right.
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
See you later.
Diavolo could have told me
you were the black person.
Bailiff,
I want that man charged
with impersonating a cracker!
Yes, sir.
That was just incredible!
I can't believe
you did that!
How did this
happen to you?
I was busted.
It was an occupational...
I mean, an occasional hazard.
Come on, Cliff, I mean...
Impossible.
It was never agreed,
never mentioned,
never discussed!
Smooth was very clear
about the whole thing.
He said, "I will be gone
two or three days
and Cliff's in charge. "
Have you ever even heard
of Doctor Detroit?
You see, Skridlow, this
guy's got to be a big man.
He's got to be cool.
He's a partner, like Mom,
but only worse, brother!
Mom? A-A-Are you saying
someone's mother
is involved in all this?
Yes!
Oh, boy.
Hey, check upstairs.
Okay, Mom.
This is nice.
This is real nice.
A gal could be
real comfy in here.
Uh...
I... I don't... don't believe
that you're welcome here.
I... I think that
you'd better leave.
Quiet!
Who is this twerp, huh?
Doctor Detroit?
Well, I wouldn't even
venture...
Don't bother.
Oh, my little stable
is top drawer, high quality.
Am I gonna enjoy
running these bitches.
Hey, we don't
work for you.
We never have
and we never will!
Oh, you just sit down!
Now listen, Smooth's gone,
which means
your ass is mine, girlie.
Uh, uh, uh, p-pardon me
for just... just a second.
I... I just... just
wanna clarify things here.
Are you actually saying
that these girls are...
They're hookers
and whores.
Hey. Hey, I like this.
Take it. Get this thing here.
Uh, forget that.
Oh. Hey, I like that.
Ooh, ain't that a beauty?
Ooh, I like this. Here.
Hey! Okay, now, I want you to
stop this! Right this instant!
Let's see what else
I can find.
I mean that.
You'll stop!
You'll take