for?
What happened to that dog's face?
Porcupine quills.
Loves porcupines, hates people.
She's in heat too.
Too bad you're not a dog.
What can I do you for?
Has your dog ever had a bath before?
There she is.
That's a gorgeous cabin.
OK. Hold it. That's good enough.
That's bigger
than our honeymoon cabin.
You city-dwelling fools
are lucky to have this cabin.
- It became available yesterday.
- We call it "the loon's nest".
- Know what a loon is?
- Yeah, we have one in our family.
We had a fishing party in there.
They caught their limit and blew.
- It's all redecorated.
- Every bit.
We sank over 300 bucks into it,
not counting what we spent on Lysol.
- Is that right?
- It's beautiful. Enjoy your stay.
- Thanks.
- How could you not in this place?
You could get the shits
from the well water.
- What did he say?
- I missed it.
What a gas.
Chet's gonna shit a solid gold brick!
I'll go see where he's bivouacked
the family.
This is very unfair, Roman.
What? We're a family,
for crying out loud!
We're always inviting Chet and Connie
to the islands.
- We weren't invited here.
- They'll be tickled to see us.
Honey? I found out
what was stinking up the shower.
A present from me to you.
How thoughtful.
Put it in there with the others.
There's fish everywhere.
Look, a pink one.
All right, let's leave this stuff
right here, OK?
Get your bathing suit
and we'll go to the lake.
No, you go.
I just can't seem to relax in filth.
We'll all clean up later. Let's go.
Someone has to find the toilet seat.
- Buck found it on the sun porch.
- Sun porch?
- It makes you wonder.
- No excuses.
- What are you doing?
- I don't know.
- Stop it.
- The kids are at the lake.
- Chet, what are you doing?
- Nothing.
Honey, no.
We got the house to ourselves. Hello!
Oh, no, what happened? I'm sorry.
I just don't feel like this.
I'm tired, I'm stinky.
- Come on.
- What are you doing?
- We got the house by ourselves.
- What about the kids?
- They're down the lake.
- Don't!
- Let's go to the bedroom.
- Why?
That's the great thing
about being in the woods.
- What are you feeding me now?
- Come on.
You can run around naked
and you won't run into anybody.
- Is that right?
- Yes.
Really?
Do you think it's possible
that we could play fashion parade?
- I don't want to play.
- Why?
- You get to wear the good outfits.
- I'll let you wear them.
- You will?
- You will be Shelana.
- Shelana, the oak tree woman.
- I love being the oak tree woman!
- Temptress of the woods.
- Yes!
And I will be Burt. A guy named Burt.
I love it when you're Burt.
You're always so manly.
Or I could be Smokey's cousin Horny.
- He has endurance too.
- Yes, he does.
(Roman) Anybody home?
(Chuckling)
Shelana the woods temptress
with Horny the bear, Smokey's cousin?
OK. OK.
- Turn that off.
- Oh, yeah! No, Chester, you said it.
Do it on the floor!
Beautiful style. That's all right.
Role-playing helps in a marriage
after a while.
Turn the damn thing off.
That was quite a surprise.
You got me.
(Chuckles)
And the whole week you'll be here.
Ha-ha, OK!
Oh, wow. Just something.
Anyway, you're an intelligent man.
Thank you.
- Make a good living.
- Not bad.
- Got a good life.
- Pretty good.
- Answer me this.
- Sure.
Why would you want to come
to a no-man's-land like this
and live like a barbarian for a week?
- You wouldn't understand.
- Try me.
I have great memories of this country.
I used to come here with my dad
and I want the boys to have
the same memories.
Look around you, Roman, for God's
sakes, this is beautiful country.
Take a good look.
I'll tell you what I see,
if you want to know.
Yeah, I'm curious.
The underdeveloped resources
of Minnesota, Wisconsin and Michigan,
a consortium exploiting over
a billion dollars in forest products.
I see a paper mill
and a mining operation,
a green belt between lakeside condos
and a waste management facility
focusing on