refuse her an audition.
-She's not supposed to sing her audition.
Please, excuse me, if you don't mind.
Honey, you don't have to sing for us...
-...because this is the drama department.
-When she sings, it is drama.
-What's your name, honey?
-Finsecker.
Doris Finsecker.
-Hi.
-How do you do?
-What's your name?
-Ralph Garci.
-Who was your teacher?
-Well, my father taught me.
He's doing work for the government.
I'm not supposed to talk about it...
...but my father played some of the
most beautiful symphonies...
-...in the whole world once.
-What did he play?
Trombones.
And French horns.
English horns.
-Saxophones.
-Anything else?
Yeah.
-Bongos, maracas, that sort of stuff.
-What did he teach you?
Why don't you
try the dance department.
-Why do you want to go to school here?
-Should I tell him?
Yeah, tell him.
We can't afford a professional
children's school.
Okay. If you want to sing, go ahead.
Then we'll look at your acting.
I'm a little nervous.
Don't be shy, Sheila. Come over here.
What are you going to do?
-I'm doing The Towering lnferno.
-What?
-You know, the movie?
-Oh.
All right, I'm playing O.J. Simpson.
I'm in this building.
There's fire all around, right?
So I go to the elevator.
Think of it as a concentration exercise.
Just sing to Michael...
-...and don't worry about anybody else.
-I don't think I can. I can't just stare.
He won't mind.
-Waiting for the elevator.
-Press the button, Doris.
Her brother Harvey.
Doesn't come, so now I'm getting mad.
Finally it comes, so I get in.
Okay, and there's people all around.
And they're looking right at me.
Yeah, my father taught me. I'm not
supposed to talk about him right now.
He's doing a little bit of work
for the government, but... .
My father is very, very famous.
He danced with the Rockettes.
Sure. Would you begin, please?
-I'll be doing "Swanee River" for you.
-Okay.
And... .
Hon? "Swanee River," please.
Hit it.
Doris, what would you do
if you don't make it?
We'll make it.
Next, please.
But I that am not shaped
for sportive tricks...
...nor made to court
an amorous looking glass...
...I that am-- Cheated of--
Oh, I'm sorry.
Why don't you try
the drama department.
If again "it was not well cut,"
he'd answer, I spake not true:
This is called the Reply Churlish.
Nobody talks about it,
but there's a quota system.
Your chances are better if you're black,
Puerto Rican or everything, like me.
-I am Puerto Rican.
-Not on your paper you ain't, Garci.
-Your daddy doing government work.
-That's the truth.
And he left you his tap shoes, right?
Does he work for Pepsi-Cola too?
Be careful.
-To the left. Left.
-Come the other way.
All right.
Easy, now. Straight back, Bruno?
-Where do you want this at?
-Far corner.
How do you do?
Okay. Fine.
Great. Look, I'll do that. You just go
and get the rest of the stuff, okay?
Oh, Martelli. Bruno Martelli.
Would you like to set up
your equipment, Mr. Martelli?
Who taught you?
Who taught me? My father taught me.
He's in Spain. He makes Westerns.
-Why do you want to go to school here?
-Because Freddie went here.
-Freddie?
-Freddie Prinze. He's the best.
-So you want to be an actor, huh?
-Yeah, sure, I want to be an actor.
Judy, Judy, Judy.
Top of the world, Ma.
We don't want you to perform. We want
to see who you are. You understand?
-Right.
-Use your own experience.
Be simple, be honest,
but most of all, be yourself.
-Be honest. Be simple. Be yourself?
-Be yourself.
I'm God, see? And God
is Puerto Rican, you got that? Now.
God works in a casa de steam,
you know. It's a steam bath, right?
And he's talking to this angel. This angel
is a computer. An electronic computer.
I'm God, see? That's why I'm standing
on this chair, you got that? Good.
Does he wanna be a musician
or an airline pilot?
Mr. Martelli. We are ready when you are.
Would you care to begin?
Oh, okay. Sure.
Mr. Martelli.
Mr. Martelli.
Mr.